Find the happy......
Hi! - What a mild winter in England thus far! And… news alert…I only have a few more days here before heading back to a late summer back in Gqeberha, South Africa.
There was one icy spell around the beginning of December when my assignment in Devon came to an abrupt halt just as it was starting. It was my birthday weekend at one of my favourite jobs. Just as I was relaxing and having a rare lazy morning languishing in bed, I received the message. Home owners were coming home early - the long weekend break was not working for them.
I had to move fast to pack up all my gear, tidy the house, and be ready to leave in an hour. The utility room was piled with all my belongings and bags of groceries brought in just 2 days before. All prepared to load into Hwyl. But Hwyl’s doors had frozen shut in the night.
That was a new challenge for me. I met it head on and overcame. I was ready to roll as the homeowner’s returned. I spent the rest of the day driving to Wales. Slept there the night and drove back to England the following day for the new assignment. It was not the relaxing weekend I had been expecting for my birthday. Especially as my drive back to England was in a named storm causing much upheaval on the motorways.
“Life is what happens while we are making plans”
Two years ago I was in a bad place. I had no idea what my future looked like or how to create an image of it in my head. I had lost faith in dreaming. Gladly, today I can say that I have moved on from that place.
Today I wake up and still I have no idea what my future looks like! How it will be funded, where it will be lived or with whom. Yet I once again find joy in each moment and each little wonder of the day. I have learned to let go of expectations.
I used to expect birthdays to be very special. They never lived up to those expectations and after years of disappointment I dreaded every birthday. Nowadays I love my birthday because I have no expectations. In fact, I have some very unexpected super serendipitous days that happen on a different day to the one on which I entered life. Those days make my heart sing louder. Other days it keeps singing …softly.
I expected to grow old in the comfortable home that I manifested. To keep that special place where my children grew up and let it be their safe haven whenever they needed. I was devastated when that seemed to be over for ever. I don’t know if I will ever be living there again- the matriarch of the home- but I have opened myself to whatever will come my way. After all, we live in a new world where we can chat face to face with our grown children wherever they are on earth. A listening ear, heart full of empathy and sound advice are more than bricks and mortar. I’m there for them, right in their hands at any time of the day or night,
I expected to always be able to sit on my front steps and watch the full moon rise over my neighbour’s rooftop. To see the glorious winter sunrises from my kitchen window, through the branches of the Wild Pear tree I planted when it was only two foot high. (She says wiping tears from her cheeks)
However, in the last two years I have often been on the road at dawn and dusk. I’ve seen countless ruddy sunrises over the green hills of Wales. I’ve watched the golden orb dropping into the Severn River mouth from the Prince of Wales Bridge. I’ve taken pictures of a myriad magnificent morning skies in the Cotswolds. I’ve watched the African sun (same one you see in the USA, btw) sinking behind the Cockscomb mountains while on a game drive in the wilderness. I’ve sat atop a mountain in that semi-desert and watched a shooting star traverse the inky heavens.
Let go of the idyllic “chocolate box” image of what you expect your life to look like and just delight in each unfolding chapter.
Eckhardt Tolle says “Instead of creating expectations of what should or shouldn’t be happening, cooperate with the form that this moment takes. Bring a ‘yes’ to the is-ness, because it’s pointless to argue if it already is.”
Don’t get me wrong now.
Keep dreaming.
Just let go of expectations of people, places, situations and objects.
Want what you get at this moment.
And joy will walk with you.
Live well and find the happy,
Merryl @ GreenSmoothie.com
P.S. This is a photo of me taking a sunset walk at the best beach in the world, Sardinia Bay, Port Elizabeth (now Gqeberha). How lucky was I to do that many many times with family, friends and touring cyclists from around the world.
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