Grief is never gone...
Hello. Grief is something that touches us all at some time or another. It is almost as reliable as those two certainties, death and change.
Not all death brings grief. Sometimes there is deep reflection and gratitude for that soul’s journey and the part they had in one’s life. And the part you had in theirs. Sometimes, death brings relief that a soul’s suffering is over. Sometimes, sadness for the grief and loneliness that those left this side of life’s curtain are facing.
In the past few years I have known too many soul’s who have chosen to end their sojourn in this realm. Whether in an emotional outburst or a determined and planned escape from physical or mental pain, each one has broken my heart and brought tears and reflection.
Yet it was only in my sixtieth year that I finally lost a soulmate. A sudden loss that has grieved me deeply. A loss that has finally given me understanding and taught me how to treat others who grieve. A loss that changed the colours of my world. A grief that will never disappear.
It creeps up at times like this when I am actively thinking on it. Tears slip out quietly. At other times, I can be having the happiest of days when suddenly something revives that grief and I will ugly cry for hours. This happened just the other day and I wrote a poem that I will share here because many of you may relate.
Grief is never gone.
It lies in the apex of your heart,
Quietly, unobtrusively.
Until a catalyst drops unexpectedly.
“One morning, I got up, and you did not.”
The line of a poem that set my
Smouldering grief aflame.
The book discarded,
Heavy loss heaved
And ineffectual tears
Couldn’t salve the pain.
Like that first turn of year
After you were gone
When 2022 clicked over
— I had made it to 2023
And you had not.
You’d taught me how to love myself
And live life without confine.
Comfortable in one another’s presence
We talked and touched
Sublime.
Had I known of life’s evanescence
I would have loved you back
With more intent.
The void you left—
Illimitable.
Live well and find the happy,
Merryl @ GreenSmoothie.com
P.S. A book that I recently read on death and the realms beyond:
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